Is Love the Right way?
January 6, 2007Seriously I am debating with myself and everybody else in the world, Is it right to love someone? I dont mean just romantically but any form of love that can possibly exists. For me when someone says he loves someone that means it can be defined in three different ways. One, love towards a girl/ guy who has the potential to become a life partner, love towards your friends that doesnt involve the romantic and sexual aspect, and finally the love towards your parents. Lets ignore the love towards God for this argument.
You love someone when that person has made a huge impact in your life or their personality simply intrigues you and you want to learn more from them and be part of their life for the rest of your life. When it comes to parents its all about the unconditional love they provide to you no matter what sacrifices they made in their life and its the respect and gratitude that you show towards them. Most of the time love towards your parents comes without forced, so does love towards others but in the sense of parents its more natural.
But my argument is loving someone the right thing to do? Think about it, how do you feel when someone you love so unconditionally just says to you “this is the END”? How does it feel when someone you love to death just doesnt even have the time to say goodbye as they have to answer the call of nature and be burned to ashes or be rotten with the soil? How does it feel when you have to say good bye to your loved one and just move on to a new place where everythign is simply new? How does it feel when you love somone just forgetting who you are but at the end that person loves some one else? Sometimes how does it feel when you love and pour love onto someone but they dont realise it nor do they have the gratitude towards you but just walks away without even a gesture and totally forget you? The simply answer is its a PAIN.
This pain is nothing like breaking a bone, or burning your skin, or cutting your finger. This is the pain that just kills you day by day. The more you think about it the more you cry, you feel lonely, lost and feel the void in your life. It just hurts! Anybody who witnessed a parent die how do you feel? It must feel cursed! Anybody who saw a friend you loved move away how do you feel? So lonely and miserable!
Then why love? I think Ive witnessed it ALOT in my life, and I think so does a majority of people that the more you love someone the more they leave you! The more you care about someone the more they hurt you. Then why the hell do you need to provide all these comfort? Why do you need to love someone? care about someone ? just sacrifice youself for the sake of someone? They are going to leave someday arent they? Then why? Give me an answer people I really want to know! Is loving someone the right thing to do? Or just ignore everything around you and live as a monk and be as selfish as possible and not need to provide love, or care the best thing to do? Well you wont get hurt or feel betrayed would you? Answer me people plz!
parthz, i know how exactly how you feel, i have also experienced the pain of love which made me suffer for over 2 years. only now it’s wearing out. this pain almost ended my life,on several accounts…
Comment by Janisa — January 6, 2007 @ 8:24 pm
Love is a major contradiction Parthi dear, it can make you the happiest person alive, yet it can make you feel extremely suicidal.
Sometimes I just wish that there were more loving, caring people like you. There simply aren’t enough, thats why the world sucks so much. There simply isnt enough love.
I too know the pain that love brings. We all face it at some point in our lives. The pain can only make us stronger, not weaker, no matter what we think.
Loving people is the right thing to do. Well i think so anyway. Otherwise the world would be even more corrupt. So keep loving those around you. And someday they’ll realise that you were there, and they’ll be grateful. As grateful as I am for having you my dear. Damn, the spelling for grateful always looks wrong to me.
Everyone feels emotional pain. Some have it worse than you Parthi dear. Think about that.
Well you are a poor sausage. Lovee you! You have me. Satya xXx
Comment by satya — January 6, 2007 @ 8:56 pm
hey, i’m a friend of Satya’s…:)
Love. It seems you get so much less than what you put in. It seems the risks you take never seem to pay off. An action so important and thought out on your side can be discarded and dismissed so thoughtlessly by the other side. Why can love be felt towards someone who clearly doesn’t love us back?
Still, i think it’s always better to give your love. I used to be a withdrawn and antisocial person who never handed out love, and so i never got any in return. Now, i’ve realised that when it comes to friends and family, the more love you give, the more you receive and the most simple of things can give happiness.
In terms of romance..we seem to be confused over when feelings become love. Some people can be in love with a different person every week, and some people pine hopelessly over somebody who they may never have. It is so different from the platonic love we build. I’m never happy when i have this “sexual love”, but when i don’t have it I’m even more miserable. Sometimes i think love isn’t worth the bother and pain. And yet, sometimes it makes me feel on top of the world. I can think I’m in love with somebody one second and then suddenly hate them for the pain they are giving me. Or even be torn between more than one person. In most cases they never love me back. Are some people more lovable? I wish i could say i didn’t need a man. But love when you have it, replaces everything in your life and makes it technicolour.
Comment by catherine — January 6, 2007 @ 9:16 pm
thank you for a post that’s not a music review anymore. =P
I think the simple answer for your quesetion is, it seems like you take more pleasure in receiving than simply giving.
and I think it’s rather an elevated disposition for someone to be so selflessly loving and never expect things in return - whether or not consciously. from a religious point of view, perhaps only the “saints” of each religion can achieve such a stature of selflessness - Jesus, for example, as I don’t know much about other religions.
your problem would be easily solved if you didn’t care about the response of the love you invest, but it’s impossibe not to care. I know because I’m totally in the same shoe as you - sometimes even just smiling at someone and they don’t return or recognize a gesture of friendliness or care would make me rather disappointed and leave me feeling unwanted.
and I wish I could tell you a way in which you can solve your problem other than turning to a religion and some superior spirit for “help” - but I can’t.
Comment by Sof — January 7, 2007 @ 6:04 am
and please let me make it clear that I admire your courage to love, because it’s not a easy thing to do.
so, if you ask whether or not to love, we can simply say no - which is the easy way out, or we can say, yes, it is the hard way, but it’s a challenge to our lives.
Comment by Sof — January 7, 2007 @ 6:06 am
Hey Parthi,
Thanks for the comment on my blog… and introducing me to yours.. good stuff!
I guess my feelings on this complicated topic are that you have to see loving someone as something that just is - and requires nothing from the other, and is regardless of what they may feel or not. YOU are the one who is lucky to have had love grow in YOUR heart and know what that feels like. Many many people in this world have not had that privilege, have never truly experienced these joys - to fall in love, to love a child, to love your parents, to unconditionally love a friend.
As for the pain you feel when someone leave or dies, I guess that is the inevitable corollary of having truly loved. Sometimes we feel pain because we feel incomplete. But realise that YOU are complete totally by yourself, and the relationship with the loved one is just the cherry on the cake. OF course the cherry makes all the difference
but You are the cake!
Comment by Hira — January 18, 2007 @ 6:25 pm
Hey Parthi,
i just wrote a really long comment, and then lost it .. anyhows.. thanks for the comment on my site and for introducing me to yours. great stuff!
Love really is a complicated mind spinning frustrating often macabre thing isn’t it??! But noone has the answers.. you just have to have some faith that it will all be okay in the end. And that if its not okay, its not the end!
Comment by Hira — January 18, 2007 @ 6:38 pm