words of wisdom

Ive read many blog entries and heard many of my friends talk how their late teen years were one of the best times of their lives. And if you just talk to any person whos settled in life, married and all they would say the times they spent in university/ college is one of the most memorable moments in their life’s history and they will live on and pass on their experiences in the years to come. Late teen years and the college years are when a person enters the stage of adulthood and start to discover themselves and start to understand who the real person inside them is. Their thoughts about life changes, their perspective towards certain principles changes, an urge for independence rushes through the mind and the mind drives to discover new territories and live new adventures that become lessons that can be cherished for the future.

All being said I can seem to live with only a few memories from my late teen years and my college years so far. I envy that and I feel dissapointed feeling this way. I do cry sometimes feeling how can god be so un-generous about me that I only got to live a very few of these so called “memories”! The fact that I migrated to Canada during 16 is such a disaster when it comes to living the most unforgettable memories that the others have experienced. By moving here in this stage of my life it was like restarting my life all again in a land so new and losing my friends in the land I once called home. I had to find schools, finish up credits, tag behind teachers to figure out missed courses, buy every single thing from scratch and discover the new world while the rest of my friends were having the time of their lives! I did make friends here some very special and talented that I should be greatful for, but I miss the people who made who I am today. The people I have so much history with. Friends who are better defined as brothers. Who I shared every single bit of happiness, sorrow and excitement with. Friends who I fought with, who I played with, who I sang with, who I shared food with. Friends who I celebrated with, competed with, shared jokes with and cried with. So much said it was short lived. Once all these experiences started I started to pack my bags and waited in line to get boarded. How pathetic is this!

When I see pictures of others and read stories of others and their experiences during their early adult stages I envy them. Jealousy rushes through my body and makes me scream on top of my voice saying how unfair is that I dont get to live it! How can I be so foolish to agree to come to a land so new at the most important part of my life! I feel helpless. Hopeless. But what else can I do? Cant change the past can I? But I have made a decision. I am not letting my 20’s slip away from me. I am going to live the best I can, Experience the most I can, enjoy every single moment with so much passion and look back oneday and say I didnt waste those years, I just turned them into history! and I smile…